Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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