Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
