he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
