everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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