then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize