he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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