Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
