Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
