We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
