She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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