Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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