Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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