Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize