you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
its liver damage thursday
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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