Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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