So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
