It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
