No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
