I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
