and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
