The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
