Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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