i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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