is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
