I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
