How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't think brook has ever known best
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
