I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
