you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
