i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
