i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Randomize
