He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
