did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
