I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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