i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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