It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
