dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
