I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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