I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
