I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He better not be in your backpack
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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