We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
