Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
