oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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