People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize