Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
