You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
