I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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