I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
