Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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