420 ftw
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
