Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize