All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Shame - the story of my life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
