Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
