those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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