i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Randomize
