I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
