just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
