Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
