Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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