You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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