There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
