I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
