By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
