look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
