new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
