I think I am morally bankrupt
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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