i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
wow bdsm is so cute
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