Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
