i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
