i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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