Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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