If i come over, it means nothing
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do vagina's smell?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
