Will you blow on my dice?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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