im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
