I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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