my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
